Settling in

At last, I'm able to write a post in the privacy and comfort of my own flat. I've missed my pc this last week, but now I'm back with at least a little vengeance.

I felt rather uncomfortable writing that very short post last week in the library. I know its odd, seeing as how the whole point of writing a blog is for other people to read it, but I don't like people peering over my shoulder at work in progress.

For this reason I decided not to go to the internet cafe, but wait until I could use my own pc again. Unfortunately, it means I missed a trick - that very funny story I wanted to mention last week has now been covered by many bloggers, so I'll be surprised if anyone finds the following, well, surprising...

As you all know, the most incredible (and expensive) series of experiments yet devised by our considerable intelligence are just beginning at CERN. The most complex and powerful machine ever built (at least on this planet) was tested last week, and will start to produce results in the next few weeks.

Some of the scientists behind this latest display of human ingenuity have received death threats from people concerned about the possibility of the Earth being destroyed by a black hole - a genuine concern no doubt if your brain is made of pig-swill. Notably absent have been complaints from most creationists; One can only assume that the 'end of days' loons are rubbing their hands with glee at the possibility that, finally, after nigh-on 2000 years of saying the end is nigh, it might actually be.

Sorry to disappoint you folks, but the end is not quite nigh yet.

Professor Brian Cox, one of the leading scientists on the team searching for the Higgs' Boson (or 'God particle' - a name that slightly troubles me, but knowing just how much more it annoys the religious gives me the ability to write it with a feeling akin to malicious pleasure) and previously keyboard player with D:ream, was quoted as saying what is possibly the best refutation of nay-sayers ever uttered by a physicist - "Anyone who says the LHC will destroy the Earth is a twat." Brilliant. I think we could use that one in biology too. I had a wonderful vision of prof. Dawkins coming out and saying (as I'm sure he must do in private) that anyone who says evolution is just a theory is a twat. Try it Richard, make my day!

What also made me laugh is the evident intelligence and analytical ability of the people making these threats. As if we needed any more proof of their infantile simplicity, here is a typical threat, as reported in a free London newspaper.

"If you cause the end of the world, I'll kill you."

Can you spot the logical flaw here? Thought so.

Quite simply, a bunch of twats. Good on you Brian.