Modern culture pushing God out of people's lives, claims Pope

Pope Benedict XVI opened a bishops Synod earlier this week with a warning that modern culture is pushing God out of people's lives. Cause for celebration, I feel.

"Nations once rich in faith and vocations are losing their identity under the harmful and destructive influence of a certain modern culture" he said, speaking at the synod, called to discuss the relevance of the bible to catholics - which strikes me as absurd, even by Church standards; rather like a shark calling a meeting to discuss the relevance of water to fish. I mean, come on, its just an excuse to have a bit of a get-together of Bishops isn't it? Fly the useless, pointless idiots half way around the world at great expense, have a bit of a bible reading session, argue about whose interpretation is right for a while, then have a good knees-up and play party games like pass the parcel ('What do I win? A bible again, hooray!') and pin the tail on the paedo.

So at least he feels that a 'certain' modern culture (drinking, drugs, godlessness and the 'worship' of celebrity and money, I suppose him to mean) is responsible for the decline in faith. I'd like to hope that it is greater education, knowledge, the application of reason and a willingness by the masses not to believe any old shite that comes from the mouth of some wilfully ignorant old man in a purple robe that is leading to a decline in faith. Maybe I'm just an optimist.

The holy one didn't say anything about Islam, though I dare say it gives him nightmares (or fits of jealousy - after all, the days in which people would happily murder thousands in the name of catholicism are, thankfully, long gone) but he did show how inclusive and tolerant the Church now is, by inviting a Rabbi to address the synod - the first time this has happened. Wow, all bow before the inclusive, modern, enlightened Church, as relevant today as it ever was.

What he didn't reveal is that one of his bishops - a crack shot - was armed with a water pistol full of holy water. A quick squirt on the Rabbi's head, a few mumbled words of latin and, hey presto, his soul was saved for Jesus without him even knowing.